i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
