This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
