My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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