Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize