i jhust puked up my retainher.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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