Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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