i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
