Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
