did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
