Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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