don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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