Don't you send me to vm
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
