hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
