you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
My penis needs a shock collar
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Randomize
