And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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