I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Come see our sink grown plant.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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