Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize