oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
