Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
