How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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