dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
