Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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