Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
