Quick, to the slutcave!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize