I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize