You're completely useless in the revolution.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
