I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
