I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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