They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
