May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize