I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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