I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
