Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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