i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got inside last night via doggy door
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
