I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
