I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
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I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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