There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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