What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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