You're so nebulous sometimes
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
