Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
