I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
