I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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