To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
