Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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