Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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