Your tits are I can't wait for
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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