you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
