Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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