She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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