I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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