I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
