dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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