I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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