just come out here and I will go home with you...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
