I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
