I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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