he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
