You're my little dorito
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
