god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I am naked and annoyed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize