FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
