I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
