If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Only a mothe r could love this liver
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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