And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
