Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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