U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
